I had two sleepless nights still, because I actually wanted to pray about it and ask God for guidance. Finally I could sleep peacefully once I decided NOT to go.
The tables turn
The very next morning after I had made my decision I entered my office to find an envelope with my name on it, but from an unknown source - inside I found 600€. In this moment I knew, God wanted me to go to Thailand. Even though I knew about God’s move, my fears didn’t disappear. So I started to trick myself by telling myself that the trip to Pattaya would be helpful to me to learn how to pray better for our new ministry in Thailand, which is just emerging.
Once I arrived in Pattaya I felt overwhelmed by the love of God I sensed for the people there. One night we went for an outreach to the notorious streets of the red light district. And I encountered them all: Prostitutes, their pimps and customers. But when I saw them, I didn’t recognize them by what they were doing, but all I could see were lost sons and daughters and I could feel how God desires us to tell them how much He is in love with them. And to tell them, that there is hope, and new life waiting for them… Actually to share with them that they are seen by God. A few minutes later I was praying with a beautiful young lady (in English 😊) who felt ugly, because she had to put on make-up. In that moment my only aim was her to experience that she is valuable and most beautiful in God’s eyes. Just because she is!
A New Calculation of TimeI am staff in the Kingdom Ministries of FCJG. Our staff gets encouraged to go for an outreach to to visit our international bases once a year to learn about life abroad and the highs and lows in the field. My thoughts about that had been like „Well, okay. I’ll do it some time.“
Now I am back from Thailand I learned how essentially important it is to visit our international branches and to ‚feel‘ personally, where our missionaries (my brothers and sisters) live and what their challenges are about. Literally this enables me to pray for them and stand with them differently.
It’s that case with our team in Thailand. Now, since I have walked the streets of Pattaya, I’m not praying any longer for things I know by hearing only. Now I pray from the bottom of my heart for Thailand and the ministry-leaders, because I could experience the challenging environment. For example that it is very important to pray for the men in our team, even more compare for the women. Men become truly objectified in Pattaya, too. I became aware of this because I witnessed it with my own eyes.
Today my calculation of time is named ‚before and after Thailand‘.
God has a PlanI dien’t really get a ‚Word from God’ to travel to Thailand. Or maybe my fears just overshadowed His voice. But I went, because my team sensed it would be important to join and to go. Followed by this I received the needed money from all kinds of places. Today I know why it mattered to God for me to go to the conference in Thailand: Feeling how God’s heart is beating for a nation… changed my life tremendously!