»Jesus, what do you want me to do?«In the months before that, my heart had been a puddle of confusion and doubt. For years I had worked in dialysis, slowly taking classes towards my nursing degree, but I could feel that I was in the wrong place. I was passionate about caring for people, but it was clear to me that nursing was not my calling. I remember sitting around the table with my friends on New Years Eve, sharing what our goals were for the next year, and what we were looking forward to. When it was my turn to share, I couldn’t think of anything even remotely worth sharing. That night, and every night since, I prayed, »Jesus, what do you want me to do?«
That May, I was miraculously able to attend FCJG’s Burning Hearts Conference in Germany. I knew that God really wanted to speak to me, so I went expectant to hear His voice. While at the conference I heard many great speakers, but I still wasn’t sure why God had brought me across the world. After the conference, we were able to tour some different places associated with HELP International, including their rehabilitation center the Wiedenhof (in English, the Father’s House). It was here, that standing on the roof overlooking the city I heard the Holy Spirit call me saying, »This is it.«
The dreamIn that moment, God reminded me of a dream He had planted in my heart years before of a place called HOME, where the broken were brought in, made whole through the power of the Holy Spirit, and where Christians lived like the Christians in Acts: sharing everything together and walking in God’s power. The people here were doing that! It was so clear to me that Jesus was calling me to leave my life behind and follow Him to the ends of the earth. Walking down stairs, I met with Arne, the leader of the Wiedenhoff, and shared what God had spoken to me. He encouraged me to listen to His voice, and that if God called me, He would make a way. When I shared that I felt like I was supposed to come to Germany to do the REVIAL SCHOOL on the Move with the friends I had traveled with, it seemed as if God had confirmed this through them as well.
In the time since, this call has been confirmed again and again. In May I quit my job, and have moved in full time to the mission base in Austin, TX. I will attend the REVIVAL SCHOOL on the Move beginning in January 2020. The school will consist of moving to three different nations (Germany, Mongolia, and the Philippines) to learn what it looks like to be a full time missionary, fully surrendered to Jesus. My intention is to continue as a missionary, wherever God calls me, after the school. I am so thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow in this next season!Madison